


The Sound Of Your Voice

by thatawesometomate



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, Love Letters, M/M, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-01-17 20:12:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 8,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12373182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatawesometomate/pseuds/thatawesometomate
Summary: Dear Seb,I know I'm not good with words. Not as good as you are. So I want to share all those things you said that made me fall in love with you. Because Seb, it's the sound of your voice what makes my heart beat faster every single time. It's your laugh and your smile and your eyes. It's you. It has always been you.Hope you like this.Yours,K.





	1. Things you said at 1 AM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Okay, first of all. This is the first time I do something like this and I might be out of my mind because I don't know how it'll turn out. It's a selection of prompts called 'Things You Said Collection' I found here: http://robbersdjh.tumblr.com/post/114789651506/prompts-1-things-you-said-at-1-am-2-things So credit to whoever made them up.
> 
> Also, English is not my first language so, please, let me know if you find any mistakes. 
> 
> This is going to be a long trip and I hope to make it count. Enjoy :)

                It was late, the celebrations of a Sunday night had just finished and we were walking towards the exit of the club. It was some years before we got together. You might not remember that day. But I do. It was the night I realized I was in love with you.

                We had fun that night. You were really talkative (even though you're always talking and rambling). You had a good weekend and you felt over the moon. So I spent most of the night looking at you as you dragged me across the room and chattered with every single soul that wasn't too drunk to hold a conversation with you. You just looked so happy and excited. You were so young back then, your eyes shining brightly with the spark of youth, and _damn_. How could I resist? I couldn't lift my foot from the throttle and I lost control. Not falling in love with you was like trying to avoid the wall once you've lost the car. Nearly impossible.

                You looked at me as we walked to our hotel, which wasn't too far away from the club. It was one of those few times our teams stayed in the same hotel and we took our chance to spend some time together. So as we approached the building I found myself looking at you. It was almost one in the morning and you looked tired, the hype of the party long ago gone. So you leaned on my shoulder, making me smile as I felt the warmth of your skin against mine.

                "You tired, Seb?"

                You nodded, your eyelids closing on a slow, tired blink. " _Ja._ "

                I chuckled and passed my arm over your shoulders to guide you towards the hotel. My heart heavily pounding in my chest. "We're almost there."

                We wandered through the corridors, looking for his room. It wasn't long until I found it, just a few floors away from mine. You were so tired, Seb. I had to drag you to your bed and I was turning to leave, you grabbed my wrist, making me stop.

                Your voice was almost a whisper against your pillow. "Kimi."

                "Yes, Seb?"

                "Don't go yet. Stay with me."

                And you looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes you have and how could I say no to that? So I sat on the bed next to you and you turned to look at me. I knew I was crossing the line but well, it was too late to give a fuck about that.

                "Thank you, Kimi. You're awesome."

                I chuckled a bit. "I know."

                "No, no, no. I'm serious, Kimi. You're so cool all the time. And you're my best friend! How cool is that? I'm so happy."

                "And tipsy."

                You pouted and I found myself smiling at you. "Don't make fun of me! I'm trying to say something important."

                I bit my lip, trying to suppress a laugh. "Go ahead."

                "You'll always be with me, right?"

                And like that, I knew I was in love with you. Your voice was almost shy as you asked, looking at me in the eye. I ran my hand through your hair and you closed your eyes before leaning on the contact. You didn't see me smile widely as I brushed away from your face some curls of blond, messy hair.

                "Of course I will, Sebby."

                "Promise?"

                "Promise."

                "Cool. Night, Kimi."

                You closed your eyes and after some minutes your breath began to slow down, your body relaxing as you fell asleep. I stood up and walked to the door, turning off the light behind me.

                I stopped before closing the door behind me and smiled. "Good night, Seb."

**  
**


	2. Things you said at the kitchen table.

                "It's not that bad, you know."

                You were sitting on the kitchen table, a plate of extra-fluffy pancakes on your hands and a glass of fresh milk next to you. I had my back turned to you as I finished cooking the rest of the pancakes but I could hear you chewing happily your breakfast. You had crashed for the night and craved pancakes as soon as your eyes popped open, much to my dismay.

                "Actually, it's pretty good. I didn't know you could cook."

                "Well. I can."

                You laughed and took a huge bite. "No shit, Kimi. These are awesome."

                I rolled my eyes and put the rest of the pancakes on a plate before walking towards you. You were half-way done with your breakfast when I sat on a chair next to you. We ate in comfortable silence, the dim light from dawn shining gloomily against your skin.

                Suddenly, your voice broke the silence almost innocently. "Hey Kimi."

                "Yes, Seb?"

                "Thanks for letting me crash tonight. You saved my life."

                I smirked and took a bite of my pancakes. They were _damn_ good. "I saved your dignity. Which is a different thing."

                "Wow. What was that? I'm hurt."

                I chuckled. "Just kidding."

                You laughed and pushed my shoulder with your thigh in a playful gesture. "I know you were joking, silly. By the way, what's that over there?"

                I turned to look at the area you were pointing. When I saw nothing strange and I turned to look back at you, I found that a big chunk of my pancake was gone. I looked at my plate before looking up at you. Bad choice. You were all flushed, your cheeks puffy, and a huge smile on your face. I was out of breath as soon as I my eyes landed on you. You noticed that something was off because your face changed all of a sudden and joy was replaced by worry.

                "I'm... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have."

                I laughed and handed you my plate, your eyes shining with excitement. And _wow._ My heart was pounding like crazy again and my head felt light and dizzy. And I looked at you once again and you looked back at me, the biggest smile on your face.

                "Thank you, Kimi."

                I nodded and stood up to do the washing up while you finished. After some minutes, I felt you next to me and a reckless idea crossed my mind. Not even a second latter, I was splashing you with cold water. Your drenched clothes clung to your body almost mockingly as you gaped at me, too shocked to say anything.

                I bit my lip, unsure. "You okay?"

                An evil smirk appeared on your lips and before I could do anything about it you were hugging me tightly, dampening my clothes as well. We parted, both of us unable to contain our laughter. You were flushed and wet strands of hair clung to your face and I found myself reaching to brush them away, my hand ghosting against your cheek a bit longer than what seemed necessary.

                You were panting, a small smile on your lips. "Hey Kimi."

                I looked at you expectantly, an eyebrow raised. "Yeah?"

                "Thank you."

                You smiled and hugged me again, this time in a more relaxed way. And maybe it was how you said it, with such a soft voice, or maybe it was the light in your eyes as those words left your lips but in that moment, with your fists clinging tightly to my wet shirt, I knew that it was you. I knew that my feelings weren't stupid, that I was _truly_ in love with you. And _damn,_ was I right...


	3. Things you were too afraid to say.

Not even a year had passed since that morning in my kitchen and you were starting to act different around me. And now that I look back at those days, I can feel that it was very hard for you. You were young, too young for a world that rough and too preoccupied about everyone's opinion. And all of a sudden you were starting to have _feelings_ for your so called best friend.

                But you were scared. You were terrified of someone finding out. So you decided to distance yourself. And it hurt. But I knew you needed some time and space. So I gave them to you. I wasn't in a good place in that moment and you keeping your distance was one of the reasons of why I left all those years ago. We needed to clear our minds, to take a break. And it worked, didn't it?

                The day before I went back to Finland, you came to my house. You remember, right? You were all mopey, trying to convince me to stay. But it couldn't be. We hung out for a while, just as we used to do. Before we could notice, it was almost midnight and you excused yourself. I walked with you towards the front door and opened it, the cold air of December making me shiver. You stopped after crossing the door and turned to look at me with sad eyes.

                "You okay, Seb?"

                You nodded and hugged me tightly for a good minute, your fists clinging tightly to my clothes. I stroked your hair soothingly as you tried to calm down. When we parted and you looked at me, there was fake smile on your lips. And it hurt more than any goodbye. Because you seemed so troubled and upset and it was all my fault.

                So when you turned to look at me one last time, I could almost hear you say all those things you were too afraid to say, that you loved me, that you wanted me to stay. But you didn't say anything. And I promised myself that you would never have to feel scared again.


	4. Things you said when you were crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay. Writer's block is being ruthless again so... Sorry if it's a bit rusty ^.^'' Anyway, let me know if you find any mistakes, please. Hope you enjoy the chapter :)

                Remember that time around December  2010 when you came to my house with a couple of cheesy films under your arm? It was a year before we got together and you came to celebrate your first Championship with me.

                You weren't just happy, you were beaming. And a good meal and a bottle of red wine later, you decided that watching _A Walk to Remember_ was a good idea. Well. It wasn't. But, could I say 'no' to you? No, I couldn't. You have that effect on me, Seb.

                So there we were, sitting on my sofa with your legs on top of me and completely covered in blankets. We weren't even half-way through the film when you started weeping like a baby.

                I rolled my eyes and handed you a Kleenex. "What's wrong?"

                You sniffled and looked up, your puffy red eyes meeting mine. "They love each other so much, Kimi! It's so beautiful!"

                I chuckled and ran my hands through my hair. "It's tooth-rotting, Seb. It's giving me cavities."

                You gasped and sat up, all affronted and with big, fat tears streaming down your cheeks. "How do you dare?"

                I smiled and pushed your shoulder playfully. "C'mon Seb. You're missing out the film."

                You narrowed your eyes but laid back on the sofa, fully focused on the screen once again. I looked at you, your eyes shining in the dim light and your chin trembling, and I felt my heart flutter. I just love how you feel about everything. Everything is so powerful when you live it, Seb. You are so passionate about all the little things, it's mesmerizing. So when the film ended and you didn't move at all, I became a bit worried.

                I turned to look at you, only to find you staring blankly at the screen, your eyes wet and your lips parted. "Are you okay?"

                Slowly, you sat up and shook your head. "No."

                It broke my heart a bit. Watching that film was a bad idea, Seb. "Come here."

                I opened my arms and you crashed against my chest, sobbing like a baby. I hugged you until your heart slowed down and your breath steadied.

                You sighed against my neck and sniffled  before talking with hoarse voice. "I'm sorry for being mad at you for retiring. You're my best friend and I... I just miss you so much..."

                "Hey. It's okay."

                "No! It's not! I feel like I've wasted my time with you, being too worried about the races and winning the Championship and all that stuff."

                "You haven't, Seb. We're still together, aren't we?"

                You nodded and looked at me with a small smile on your lips. "Thank you, Kimi."

                I smiled back and wiped away the tears on your cheeks with my thumb. "It's nothing. You look tired. Why don't you stay the night and I drive you home tomorrow?"

                You smiled a bit more widely and nodded eagerly. "Yeah."

                Of course you would stay the night. You always did. It was just an excuse to hang out a bit more, just the two of us, and you never said no to that. So you stayed that night and when you woke up the next morning, completely hangover, you couldn't remember anything you said the night before. And I didn't say anything about it until now, keeping that genuine moment close to my heart.

                And Seb, I want you to know that I love that about you, your way of feeling everything at such extent. I love how gentle and loving and authentic you are. Never change.


	5. Things you said with too many miles between us.

                The next season was very busy and stressful for the both of us, especially for you. You had already won a Championship and the expectations on you were very high. But I always had faith in you. I always knew you could make it. I was so proud when you secured your second Championship in Japan. So, so proud.

                So, it was a surprise when you called me at two in the morning. It was a cold night of October and it was raining heavily against the windows, the sound of thunders breaking through the silent night.

                I groaned and fell back against the mattress, covering my eyes with my free arm."Seb? Do you know what time it is?"

                Your sad voice was no louder than a whisper when you spoke."I miss you, Kimi."

                And suddenly, I was awake and fully alert. Something wasn't right. "I miss you too, Sebby. You know that."

                "It's just too much. I can't do this without you."

                "You've been doing just fine without me."

                "Kimi."

                "What?"

                "I... I think... I think I'm in love with you."

                That was quite shocking. I didn't expect you to say it like that. But you did. "You... What?"

                You sighed. "Sorry. I shouldn't have called. Talk to you later."

                A small wave of panic knocked me back to my  senses."No! Seb, wait!"

                "Yeah?"

                "You don't have to hang up. Please. Talk to me."

                "I don't know what you want me to say."

                "Ask me to come back. Ask me to come back to you. And I will."

                There was a moment of silence and I found myself holding my breath. And then your voice came through the speaker, low and hesitant.

                "Come back to me, please. "

                I sighed in relief. You had come to terms with what you were feeling and that was good. And when you asked me to return to a world I had forgotten long ago, I didn't even think of all the other possibilities ahead of me, all the things that could go wrong.

                So I chuckled and turned off the light before closing my eyes, your steady breathing relaxing me. "Of course I'm coming back, Seb. I'd do anything for you."

                And, you know, I don't care about the place, or the moment or the situation, as long as I'm with you. It will always be like that. No matter what, we're together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So I'll use this chapter to make a small disclaimer: The story doesn't follow a concrete chronological order so although this chapter is set at the end of 2011, we might get to read some scenes that happened before this one.
> 
> It might seem a bit complicated and chaotic at first but I think it can turn out okay. Anyway, don't be scared to ask any doubts you might have about the timeline.


	6. Things you said when I was crying.

                You know, sometimes things get too much for me to handle. And when that happens you're usually there to help me cope with what I'm feeling.

                It was some months before my retirement and we were coming back home from a terrible race weekend in Spain. I was numb and I felt myself crumbling from the inside as the plane set off towards Switzerland. You noticed something was wrong almost immediately and you sat next to me, a deep frown on your face.

                "Are you okay?"

                I nodded, a big, fat lump building up in my throat. You raised your eyebrow skeptically and I lowered my head, a bit ashamed of my inability to lie to you. You sighed and hugged me tightly, and like that, tears began to silently stream down my cheeks. I couldn't keep them back, not with you hugging me like that.

                "Shh. It's okay. It was just a bad race."

                "It wasn't, Seb. It's a bad season. A bad year. I'm... I'm not good enough to be here."

                You tightened your grip as my voice cracked and began to stroke my back soothingly. "That's not true, Kimi. You're the best driver out there. You've always been. I've looked up to you, since I saw you race for the first time. You're just so amazing!"

                I sighed and tried to wipe away my tears. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't bother you with my problems. It's not fair."

                "Kimi. Don't be silly. I know how it feels when it's just too much to deal with. You need to let it out. It's okay to act like this. It's _good_ for you. Even the Iceman deserves a little comfort, doesn't he?"

                I gaped at you and found myself smiling a bit. You're always so supportive and caring, Seb. And when I feel like shit and everything seems too much and I can't seem to find myself, you are always there to help me with your smile and your soothing words. Thank you.

**  
**


	7. Things you said that made me feel like shit.

                We have arguments. Big, ugly arguments that leave us feeling like shit. I remember an especially bad one, some months after you joined me in Ferrari. We had been together for a couple years and we had never argued like that before so it was pretty rough. You had had a pretty bad race, a tyre failure didn't let you finish the race and you still came up 12th. I finished 7th. So, yeah, a pretty shitty Sunday in Belgium.

                 So when the race ended and we returned to our hotel, I showered and went to your room, like we always do. It wasn't a good idea. You were fuming. I should have left you alone, I knew it was better to give you some space but _damn_. I couldn't see you feeling so miserable. So I sat next to you on your bed and stroked your hair caringly.

                "C'mon, Seb. It's just a bad race. You'll be better next week."

                "No! Leave me alone! I don't need you here." You snapped, moving away from me.

                I sighed and looked at you, a bit hesitant to leave you like that. "But Seb..."

                "Just leave! You're so cold and uncaring all the time! It doesn't affect you, right? Getting those results. You're just here for the racing. You don't care about the team or me! You're so selfish, Kimi. I can't deal with you right now. Leave."

                Your voice was so stern, so poisonous, I felt my chest tighten as those words left your lips. I closed my eyes and nodded before standing up and leaving the room without saying a single word to you.

                I knew you didn't mean any of that. But it still made me feel like puking. So when the door of your room closed behind me, I couldn't bring myself to move any further. My legs couldn't take me away from you and I found myself sitting against the cold wall, next to the door. I thought that maybe you were right. Maybe I was cold, and selfish and uncaring. Maybe you didn't need me. I felt like shit.

                But then your door was opened violently and  you stepped out, looking at both sides of the corridor before spotting me next to the doorway. It didn't even take you a split of second before you were hugging me tightly, holding me close to your chest.

                When you spoke, your voice cracked. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You know I didn't mean it."

                I looked at you and I felt myself nodding a bit numbly. "I should have left you alone. It's my fault."

                "No, Kimi. No. I love you. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. It wasn't fair for you. Forgive me?"

                I closed my eyes and hugged you tightly. "Of course I forgive you, Seb."

                You smiled widely and leaned forward to kiss me passionately on the lips before standing up. You grabbed my hand and helped me up on my feet with a little smirk on your lips. "Why don't we get inside and discuss how can I make it up to you?"

                I grinned and nodded, letting you drag me inside of your room and closing the door behind us.

                That's one of the things I love about you, how you seem to forget all your pride when it comes to me. How, no matter what, we always solve the few problems we come across. Because when we're together, we're stronger. You're the best part of me, Seb. You've always been.

**  
**

 


	8. Things you said when you were drunk.

                Late 2012. After so many years of friendship I should have known that mixing you with great amounts of alcohol wasn't a good idea. However, I found myself sitting next to an extremely shitfaced version of you.

                We were in a party you had insisted to go and you couldn't turn down all the free alcohol we were provided with. So yeah, you were in a pretty bad shape. And I, being the amazing boyfriend I am, had to drag your drunk ass to our hotel again.

                So once you were tucked in the bed, a glass of water and an aspiring resting on your bedside table, things began to get out of hand. You see. I asked you not to read all those stupid conspiracy theories but would you listen to me? No.

                So when your eyes went wide all of a sudden, I knew I was in for a trip. "Holy shit! Why didn't you tell me?"

                I rolled my eyes. "Tell you what, Seb?"

                You vaguely moved your hands in my direction, as if trying to find the right words. When you managed to speak, your voice was almost a whisper. "That you're an alien!"

                "I'm not an alien, Seb!"

                You giggled. "Of course you're! You can tell me. I'm boyfriend."

                I sighed and sat next to you. "What makes you think that I'm an alien?"

                "You're sooooo hot. Like Superman. But shorter. And blond. And Finn. And hotter. And your eyes are prettier."

                I chuckled. "I see."

                "Shhh. That's not all!"

                "What else?"

                You leaned forward and looked at both sides, as if you were suspicious of someone listening in. "You drive too well."

                "So do you. Maybe you're the alien."

                Your eyebrows shot up in surprise as you gaped at me. "OMG! WHAT IF I'M AN ALIEN TOO?"

                "Seb. Relax."

                "I can't relax, Kimi. We're aliens."

                "No. We're not."

                "We're! I'll show you!"

                You stood up and began running around the room. I rolled my eyes and opened the bathroom door, knowing what would follow your little stunt. Not even ten seconds later you were kneeling before the toilet, your arms hugging the seat as you emptied the contents of your stomach. I stroked your back soothingly, waiting patiently until you were done throwing up. Once you were done, I took your hand and dragged you to the bed again.

                I smiled as I covered you in blankets. "Okay, Mr. Alien. It looks like the Earth doesn't make you any good."

                "I'm sleepy. Aliens need to sleep too."

                I chuckled and kissed the top of your head before laying down next to you under the covers. "Of course they do."

                You leaned closer to my chest and I hugged you  closer to my body. "Good night, Kimi. Love you."

                I smiled and kissed the back of your neck. "Night, Seb. Love you  too."

                And we fell asleep like that, our legs tangled together and your back resting against my chest as I hugged you.


	9. Things you said when you thought I was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! This is a very short chapter but don't worry, more will come. Hope you are enjoying the story so far and please, let me know if you find any mistakes so I can fix them. See you! <3

                You know I'm not a morning person. It takes me ages to wake up after a race weekend. Not this time.

                 It was a Monday morning and I my eyes had shot open as soon as light entered through the window, but I refused to leave our bed, too lazy to even move. It didn't take you long to wake up and I felt you shift on the mattress some seconds before I felt a small pressure against my cheek. You thought I was still asleep. Well. I wasn't.

You leaned on your elbow and your fingers ghosted over my arm, stealing me a smile.

                "Hey, Kimi. Are you sleeping?"

                Your voice wasn't louder than a whisper and when you didn't receive an answer I heard you chuckle.

                "Of course you are, Sleeping Beauty! You see, Kimi. I want you to know something. You're so important, and amazing, and you deserve the world." I felt your fingers play with my hair as those words left your lips, making my heart flutter. "And I would give you the moon if you asked me to give it to you. That's how much you mean to me. I just love you so, so much, Kimi. And I'm so thankful for having you by my side. You make me so happy, Kimi. I hope you know that."

                You kissed my cheek and I felt you leave the bed, a small wave of coldness making me shiver as your warmth faded away. And I smiled widely at your words, my heart almost bursting out of happiness. You do make me happy, Seb.


	10. Things you said after you kissed me.

                Remember what you said after our first kiss? It was a couple of months after that phone call in which you confessed your feelings. It had been  a couple of tough months, since we couldn't really meet to sort things out and we were finally able to meet once the Championship was over.

                I was cooking your favourite meal, knowing you were coming to have dinner with me, when I heard a knock on the door. I groaned and walked towards the door, wondering who it was. I wasn't expecting you so early. So as soon as I opened the door, I found myself on the floor, with you on top of me, hugging me tightly.

                "I've missed you so much, Kimi." 

                I chuckled and hugged you back. "I missed you too, Seb. I wasn't expecting you this early."

                "I couldn't wait anymore to see you. I came straight from the airport."

                I shook my head in disbelief and stood up before helping you on your feet. You were beaming. Your smile was even brighter than I remembered it to be. And I felt my  heart beating faster and harder as your fingers tangled with mine. I smiled and grabbed your bag before closing the front door.

                "Wow. It smells amazing. What are you doing?"

                I chuckled as I entered in the kitchen, with you following me closely. "What do you think?"

                You laughed and set the table while I finished cooking our dinner. Once it was done, I opened a bottle of red wine and we ate, engaged in small talk.

                "So tell me, how is it to have two Championships?"

                "Meh. Not as good as being with you."

                I chuckled and took a bite of pasta. "Are you flirting with me, Seb?"

                You blushed and laughed awkwardly. "Just a bit."

                "Good to know."

                It wasn't awkward at all, despite the heavy truth between us. So the dinner progressed in comfortable silence. You couldn't stop smiling and neither could I. I was so happy to be with you again, Seb.

                When we were done eating, we decided to do the washing up before moving to the living room, with our fingers tangled lazily. You dragged me to the sofa and allowed me to rest my head on your lap, with your fingers softly playing with strands of my hair.

                I smiled and raised my hand to caress your cheek lovingly. "I'm glad you're here, Seb."

                You chuckled and leaned forward so your nose was just a few inches away from mine. "I am, too."

                "What do you think you are doing?"

                "I'm going to kiss you, Kimi Räikkönen. Any objections?"

                I shook my head and closed my eyes as you closed the gap between us. I smiled against your lips before deepening the kiss, making you groan out of pleasure. When we parted, you were flushed and panting and your lips were a beautiful shade of red and I had never loved you so much. And I never stopped loving you.

                When you spoke again, your voice was hoarse and low. "Holy cow."

                I chuckled and stroked your hair softly. "Was it so bad?"

                "I think I want to marry you. To hell with it. I want to adopt a dog with you."

                And you said it with so much love and passion I found myself kissing you again. And again. And again. And I never stopped kissing you and I never will because I'm just too in love with you. And yes, I'd marry you and adopt a thousand of dogs with you and never leave your side, Seb. We are forever.


	11. Things you said on the phone at 4 AM.

The worst part of being in love with you is the distance, you know. It's weird how it feels when you aren't around, so lonely and cold and sad. It's just too much. And I know you feel it too.

                We had been together for three years when your phone call woke me up at four in the morning. It was December and I was staying in Finland while you visited your family in Germany.

                I groaned and answered the call. "Seb? Are you okay?"

                I could hear you breathing shakily, almost panting as if you had been running or something. "I... I had a nightmare."

                "Oh, Seb. Do... Do you want to talk about it?"

                You stayed in silence for a couple of seconds before sighing. "Not really. I just needed to hear your voice. You always calm me down."

                I sighed and turned on the lights as I tried to focus on your breathing, which was starting to steady. "Try to focus on me, okay? Do you want me to keep talking?"

                "Yes. I don't really want to go back to sleep."

                You sounded so distressed and sad... And I couldn't stand it.

                Your voice came like a whisper through the speaker. "I wish you were here, Kimi."

                "I wish I was there too, Seb."

                "I miss you. And it's stupid because we've been apart from each other before but it's just too much."

                I sighed and shifted in bed. "I know. I know. But Seb, we are meeting in less than a week. Just a few more days."

                "But I want to see you now."

                I could almost hear you pout and I chuckled as an idea crossed my mind. "Hold on."

                I hung up and immediately started a video-call. Your head appeared on the screen, your face almost buried in the pillow and your hair completely dishevelled. You smiled tiredly and I passed my fingers over the image of your cheek.

                "Hey." I said softly.

                "Hey you."

                "You hair looks funny."

                You chuckled and tried to fix it, only to mess it up even more. "Yours isn't much better, you know."

                I shrugged and  smiled without looking away from you, from your tired eyes and your beautiful smile and your funny hair. If only I had been there, with you... I would have held you close to my chest until you had fallen asleep, scaring away your nightmares. Instead, the only thing I could do, with nearly two thousand miles between us, was whisper how much I loved you until you fell asleep, the phone still in your hand and a soft smile on your face. And Seb, I want you know that no matter what, when you need me, I'll be there. Even if it's at four in the morning. I don't care as long as it's you.


	12. Things you said when you were scared.

                Silverstone. 2014. You remember what happened, don't you? It was a rough day.

                I still don't know what went wrong but before I could do anything to avoid it, the car was hitting the wall at huge speed. The first thing that crossed my mind was the fact that I hadn't hit anyone, luckily. Then, the only thing I could feel was pain. And I thought about you, still racing, unknowing.

                I was taken to the medical bay, almost unable to walk as my ankle hurt too much. And as I was being taken care of, I only could think about the race and how you'd be doing. Then, someone said the race was red-flagged and I allowed myself to breath. It'd buy you some time to focus on the race.

                I wanted to return to the paddock, to follow the race and see you. But I wasn't allowed to leave the medical centre, being just too sore to move. At least I was given a small portable TV to follow the race, which had just started again after some minutes. I observed as you drove, almost praying for you to be safe.

                The race came to an end and when you finished fifth, I allowed myself to relax. I hate watching you race from the barrier. Even during my rally days. I'm always on edge when you are out there, even if I know you are the best driver on the track. I like being there with you, taking care of each other.

                So you can imagine how surprised I was when you burst into the room I was staying in, all sweaty and distressed. You still had your helmet on your hands and you were panting as you stopped on your tracks once you spotted me sitting on the small stretcher.

                I gaped at you, shocked. "Seb? What the hell are you doing here?"

                You bit your lip as you clenched your fists, shaking slightly. "You scared me."

                "I'm sorry, Seb. But I'm okay. See?" I opened my arms but you stayed unmoving.

                "No! You don't understand. I was told nothing! I knew nothing! For fuck's sake, Kimi! You could have died." Your voice cracked as you stopped talking to take a shaky breath. "I could have lost you and I could do nothing."

                You looked broken and stressed and I felt my heart break a little as a lonely tear streamed down your cheek. "Oh Seb. Come here."

                You ran to me, hugging me tightly against your chest as if I was going to disappear. I stroked your hair soothingly until you stopped shaking and your fists unclenched.

                You looked up at me with those beautiful blue eyes I love so much. "Don't do that ever again. Don't scare me like that."

                I slowly wiped away the tears on your face with my thumb before kissing the tip of your nose. "I won't."

                "Promise me."

                I placed my right hand over my chest and locked my eyes with yours.  "Sebastian Vettel. I, Kimi-Matias Räikkönen, promise I'll never scare you like that again."

                You smiled, satisfied, and leaned forward to softly kiss my lips. I smiled against the touch and pressed my fingers against your cheeks, cupping your face with my hands.

                We parted shortly after and you pressed your forehead against mine. "I love you, Kimi. So damn much."

                I chuckled and playfully brushed the tip of your nose with mine. "Love you too, Sebby."

                And we stayed like that for a while, just hugging and feeling each other's hearts soundly beating in our chests. Because Seb, I promised I'd never scare you like that again but now, I want to promise you that I'll love you no matter where I am or what problems we face. I promise to support and protect you no matter what. I'll always be by your side, Seb. Always.


	13. Things you said that I wish you hadn't.

                We had been together for a while - almost two years - and you had just won your fourth Championship. We were just chilling at home, cuddling on the sofa in front of the fireplace.

                My fingers lazily played with some strands of your hair as you slept, your head resting on my chest. I smiled and looked down at you, your face almost buried under the blanket.  You looked so calm and happy and carefree I felt my heart flutter at the sight. I kissed the top of your head and you shifted in your sleep.  Your eyes fluttered open some minutes later and you stretched your arms before hugging my waist tightly.     

                 I chuckled and caressed the back of your neck lovingly. "That was a good nap, sunshine."

                "Mornin', Kimi."

                "You slept well?"

                You nodded and raised your head to softly kiss me on the lips. "Awesome. You make a good pillow."

                I chuckled. "Thank you very much."

                You yawned and rested your head on my chest again. "Hey Kimi."

                "Yes Seb?"

                Your voice wasn't louder than a whisper as your fingers played with the fabric of my t-shirt. "Can I tell you something?"

                "Of course."

                "I've been thinking... And I think... Kimi. I want you to know that I'd marry you if we weren't who we are."

                And I really wish you hadn't said that because, you know, you were right. We could never be together like that. Not being who we are. Not being Sebastian Vettel and Kimi Räikkönen. Not in the world we live. And _damn_ , it hurt. It hurt a lot. And then I couldn't keep that idea away from my mind because I love you so, so much... And yes, I want you. And I want to marry you. And I want to have a family with you. And I'd spend every single minute of my life loving you, Seb. Because with you, nothing ever feels enough. And I hope you know that.


	14. Things you said with no space between us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first of all, I'm very very sorry for not posting in a while. I'm having a huge writer's block again and I'm very busy with 'Uni stuff' so... Sorry about that. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this new chapter and I promise to try to post more often. See you :)

                It was a lazy morning of August and we were just laying on our bed, legs tangled and foreheads touching. Your fingers ghosted over my skin, delicately tracing the faint tan line of my waist. You were smiling softly as I ran my  fingers through your hair, messing it up a little. You looked gorgeous, blushed cheeks and bright eyes blinding me. You chuckled and brushed your nose against mine before kissing me softly on the lips.

                You smiled against my lips before mumbling. "I could get used to this, you know."

                I chuckled and parted to kiss the tip of your nose. "Mind to elaborate?"

                You caressed my cheek without looking away from my eyes. "Waking up next to you every day, just chilling in bed until noon. That's something I  could get used to."

                "Hmmm... Sounds good to me. Where do I sign up?"

                You smiled softly and kissed my cheek before standing up and leaving the room. I groaned and sat up, looking for you. Suddenly, you walked in holding a small notebook and a red pen. I looked at you expectantly as you laid back in bed, rapidly scribbling something.

                "What are you doing?"

                "Shh. Give a second."

                I rolled my eyes and laid back, covering my head with a pillow. "Okay."

                After some minutes you moved the pillow away from my head and shoved the notebook to my face. I took it and tried to read it, only to fail miserably.

                "What the hell, Seb? What language is this?"

                You rolled your eyes and took the notebook from my hands. "That's English, you silly. It's just a bit messy. Here, I'll read it for you. You ready?"

                "Think so. "

                You smiled and read the paper, a small smile on your face as those words left your lips. "I, Sebastian Vettel, promise to wake up next to you, Kimi-Mattias Räikkönen, every single day of my life. I also promise to hug you and kiss you and love you until the day I stop breathing. If you agree with the terms and conditions of this contract, please, sign over the dot line at the end of the page."

                I gaped at you, too shocked to speak or even blink. You chuckled and gave me the notebook and the pen. I stared at them before looking back at you, your fascinating blue eyes locking with mine.

                "Terms and conditions? No one actually reads those."

                You chuckled and rolled your eyes. "It just sounded cool. Shut up and sign the contract."

                "Okay."

I smiled and signed the piece of paper before looking up at you. You grinned and took the stuff away from my hands before wrapping your arms around my neck and kissing me passionately on the lips. I chuckled and moved away from you before cupping your cheek with my hand, my eyes scanning your face.

                "I love you."

                You smiled and pressed your forehead against mine. "I know. I love you too."

                And yeah, that contract was a pretty good idea, wasn't it? **  
**


	15. Things you said that I wasn't meant to hear.

                We didn't tell anyone about us at first but it was just a matter of time until someone found out. It was Daniel, almost two years after we got together, and since then he had become our best ally. You can always trust Daniel Ricciardo.

                So when I found you two talking in hushed voices some months ago, I couldn't help but listen in. You two were hanging out in the paddock, almost hidden behind some wheels. Daniel was sitting on top of a fence as you leaned against it, absent-mindedly sipping on your water bottle.

                I was going to say something but you hadn't noticed me and then you started talking. "He's just so amazing, Dan."

                Daniel laughed and shook his head. "You tell me. It's you who's in love with him."

                You chuckled and rested your head against the fence before sighing. "I know, okay? But _damn_! He makes me so happy. He's always been there, supporting me, and I can't imagine my life without him anymore."

                Daniel smiled and pushed your shoulder playfully. "You must love him a lot."

                "You can't imagine how much, man. He's just so important to me. He makes me feel safe and scared at the same time. I'm scared of losing him, of him walking away. And when I'm feeling down, he's always there to cheer me up or take care of me. I just can't express how much he means to me, Dan."

                Daniel nodded and placed a hand on your shoulder. "I'm happy for you, mate. Really. You two look very happy together."

                You smiled widely and nodded. "We are. Just don't tell him I said that. He'd be so smug about it!"

                Daniel laughed and I found myself smiling softly at your words. I wasn't meant to hear any of that but those words almost made my heart burst of happiness. You're just so, so important to me. Because Seb, you're my favourite person in this world, my reason to live. And that'll never change. I'm here to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	16. Things you said with clenched fists.

You know, one of the things I love about you - well, I love mostly everything about you but you get the idea, right? - is how honest you are. You don't keep anything for yourself. It's always truth first with you and I find it so amazing, Seb.  I just love how you always try to face whatever is upsetting you, no matter how it can turn out.

                So when you approached me some weeks ago, a stern look on your face as you walked into the garage, I knew something wasn't right. You grabbed a stool and sat in front of me, staring at me with a scowl on your face.

                I raised an eyebrow, confused. "Is something wrong?"

                "You."

                "Me?"

                "Yes."

                My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Why?"

                You took a shaky breath before folding your arms over your chest impatiently. "Why didn't you tell me you were thinking about retiring?"

                I gaped at you, a bit taken aback. I wasn't expecting that, to be honest. "Retiring?"

                You nodded. "Yes. I heard it. Some journalists were talking about it earlier."

                I sighed and took your hand in mine. "Seb, you know I will have to go... Eventually."

                "Kimi!"

                "Shh. Let me finish. I'm getting a bit too old for this. And yes, I've been thinking about retiring.  Like, seriously thinking about it. I'm not good enough to help you win the title and you should have a better teammate."

                "No, Kimi. Listen to me. I don't want any other teammate, I want you. You are the best driver out there. Maybe you aren't everyone's cup of tea, but you are _my_ cup of tea. I wouldn't choose anyone else. You're fair and honest and amazing. And I love you so much, Kimi. I need you. I still need you. Please, don't go."

                I cupped your cheek with my hand and you looked at me. "I'm still here, right?"

                You smiled widely and leaned forward to press your forehead against mine. "You're staying?"

                "Of course I am, Seb. I can't leave you, can I?"

                "Nope."

                I kissed the tip of your nose before smirking. "I'd love  all the free time, though. Petanque sounds interesting."

                You rolled your eyes before pushing me playfully. "Don't joke, you silly! You know you'll go rallying or something. You can't stay away from a steering wheel for long."

                "You know what I can't stay away from?"

                You grinned and leaned closer to me. "Ice cream?"

                I smiled and shifted my head to seductively whisper into your ear. "You."

                You burst out laughing before hugging me tightly, relaxing in my arms. "I love you a lot, you know."

                "Yeah, Seb. I know."

                And you leaned forward to kiss me on the lips, making me smile softly. And everything was fine again, despite all those rumours and shit. I'm not leaving your side anytime soon. I hope you know that, Seb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :D


	17. Things I said while looking into your eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, first of all, I'm very sorry. I wasn't expecting to be so busy and since I barely have time to write anymore, I've decided to finish this story a bit earlier than expected. I really wanted to keep going but it's just pretty hard. Maybe if I have time in the future I'll actually finish it for real but for now, this is the end of the journey. 
> 
> I loved writing this. It was something I had never done before so it was quite nice. I also loved reading your comments, every single one of them, even if I didn't reply to all of them (I'm so awkward, you can't even imagine). Thank you for always being there. You are the best part of this.
> 
> So, please, enjoy the last chapter. I've had it written for a while, so... I hope it was worth the wait.

                I find you sitting on a sofa in the motorhome. Your hair is dishevelled and you look tired, weeks of bad luck and the effect of too many flights are visible on your face and I find myself out of breath because even like that you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. You look at me with those stunning blue eyes and smile at me. One of those wide smiles of yours that seem to brighten the whole room, no matter how dark it might be.

                I sit next to you and your hand finds its way to mine, stroking the back of my hand with your thumb. I smile back at you and you chuckle, your chest moving with each laugh, and it feels like a warm day after the coldest winter. So I place my hand on your cheek and our eyes lock.

                You frown, looking a bit confused. "Are you okay?"

                I smile, my eyes never leaving yours and my heart beating fast. "Seb, I'm in love with you. You know that. And I... You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, no matter how far back I look or how hard I try to imagine anything better than you. There's nothing. You're the love of my life. You're the reason of why I wake up every morning. You're the light that brightens my day even when the sky is grey. And I can't imagine my life without you. Not anymore. You're the best teammate I could have asked for. You're my best friend. You're passionate and funny and everyone loves you. And I'm head over heels for you. I love you. I've always loved you and I'll always will. It doesn't matter what happens because I'll always find my way back to you. And I don't say it enough, how amazing you are and how glad I am to have you in my life, Seb. So..."

                Tears are streaming down your cheeks and I feel bad for making you cry but then you smile and throw your arms around my neck, hugging me tightly. You are laughing and the tears are hot against my neck and everything is messy but it's you. You are the one hugging me and laughing and crying and it's perfect. Because you, Sebastian Vettel, are perfect. And like that, our chests pressed together, your hands on my hair and my lips on your neck, I know that you are the one that gives colour to my life with your smile, with your tears of joy, with your laugh, with everything you have. And my chest seems to burst of happiness as you whisper in my ear that you love me too. That's what the sound of your voice does to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much!  
> See you around :D

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! Please let me know your opinion in the comments. It means a lot. 
> 
> See you around :D


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